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Forum: Serious Discussion for Christian Singles
  Be Not Mine, Mine Valentine
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Submitted Anonymously


Mid the month of winters day,
hark the words St. Valentine.
Every one in his own way
wants to say "be mine".

If were i could be so bold
to wish instead for this;
words my lips for thou foretold
that such could share much bliss.

Were thou mine i'd gleeful dance;
mine heart would joyful sing!
Yet rather than mere entranced
i'd loves great freedom bring.

Fain i'd wish thou to be mine,
would lock away thine heart.
Risk not spill, too sweet a wine
which spoileth from the start.

My wish instead for thou my friend,
no truer wish, mine valentine;
my wish for thou, with no sure end,
that will thou heart be thine?

For 'till thy heart is thine, is thine,
thou surely cannot empty, give
to hungered hearts such love divine,
and yet, too mortal, live.

Own thy heart, and give it not,
demand it neither spilled.
Know sure it canst be bought,
nor cheap with words be filled.

Give thine heart what she demand;
that liberty hold tender, fast.
Liberty, she's loves last stand;
love when free, shall ever last.

Do not be mine, be thine, i cry;
be thine, is love's demand.
If, as thine, thou choose be mine,
then give thou i mine hand...

Mine hand can never, absent love,
touch my lips to love's sweet tea;
nor my lips speak truth above,
until content, that hearts love free.

Do not chain or be entwined,
Set free the love that set you free;
there our hearts might ever find
love ever sail 'tween me and thee.

Fair winds that blow this sea of love;
trust fair the winds that blow.
And high on clouds and stars above
Only God doth four winds know.

( © Timo Antero Onjukka 2010 all rights reserved)
Published on Adventist Today (
Forum: Serious Discussion for Christian Singles
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Submitted Anonymously

  Very well said and unfortunately very true.
Forum: Serious Discussion for Christian Singles
"traits du cœur remis"; a transformed heart?
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Submitted Anonymously

  I've been considering for a time to do a devotional on the "heart" and what this means for Christians and Lovers and Single People and Children and Parents (have i covered everyone yet?). This is just an initial foray into the subject.

Three "traits du cœur remis", "characteristics of a heart transformed" include
1) willingness to wait at all costs no matter what
2) openness to ask even the hard questions, not settling for waffling.
3) readiness to act with disinterested benevolence.

Love is patient. Love waits; days, weeks, months, even years. Not to be undone by fear and chased aways by pain, love lives within it, confident it IS the highest power that conquers everything. It is a continuing story of a person, merely being "lover" who does not just "do" few loving things or speak "some" loving words. Extravagant love is neither just noun, a "thing" nor verb, "something done".Its not even a proper verb; something right done. It is a character attribute.

Such love waits without worry, asks without fear, acts without agenda or recompense or lack. Waiting strengthens faith; asking for help, for time, for support engenders hope. Acting on these builds and changes; extravagant love changes, regardless of the other persons responses. Embrace this truth, accept what is and what must change, and demonstrate a redeemed and transformed heart, to a world inured by dead-hearts walking. Oh quicken me; you promised abundant LIFE...NOT THIS MERE EXISTENCE WE TRUDGE MINDLESSLY.
Father, you came to bind my wounds, to set me free, and to save me. I hurt, Daddy, i am slave to that which i cling ; free me and save me from the taskmaster within me.

Recognize that for a heart to be redeemed, it must first admit what took it captive and carried it away. We have ALL gone into "zanah", scripture repeatedly says. We've niced-up the language and called in "spiritual adultery" or "idolatry", but the Aramaic root clearly calls it "whoring". The meaning? We have paid, with our hearts, to receive something, exchanging our passion for a moments glory, all for naught, for these self-made gods are dumb and mute and deaf. But the cost is high; they will ALL break your relationships, and rule your hearts, they will ALL bring pain; your lives will be consumed by feeding whatever it is that you have taken. Giving our hearts to these "lesser gods" (as Jeremiah and Deuteronomy put it) results in 3 things; i want it NOW, I will TAKE IT without asking, and i will ALWAYS ACT in a way to achieve what it is my heart truly worships. Having given up my freedoms, ostensibly to be free to worship my chosen, self-made, lesser gods, i place all relationships beneath them, in effect sacrificing them to my god. Doesn't matter what the relationship is; child (Molech, Baal, et al were only some notables; we still sacrifice our children for fame and fortune and pleasure and pain avoidance).
Spouses, colleagues, superiors, subordinates; matters not, we immediately begin the "thingification of people". Once depersonalized, we can treat them with impunity and without conscientious twinge.

There are many things; substance and substitute, all. Matters not whether it is drink or drug, food or sex, money or power, status or even religiosity, the common hallmark of a heart held captive is this;
inability to maintain real and authentic,meaningful lasting relationships that both nourish you without overwhelming nor suck you dry with incessant demands. Most of us have some understanding of this, and recognize the rarity of true relationships, where honesty is de rigeur. How many friendships have you got that you are capable of speaking the "ouchies" even when it is sensitive, painful, potentially wounding?
Think about it...lack of conflict in any relationship is NOT harbinger of good relationship. It is merely mark of GOOD MASK. There will come a time the masks come down, and then people either wound themselves (in order to be good Christians and avoid wounding another) or they will lash out with vitriolic or veiled attack, depending on their articulation skills, personalities, and accumulated unprocessed (suppressed) previous pain. How does that friend react? A person well versed in the denial/projection tactics will quickly polish the apple and relate all the different groups he is a member of, or the varying ministries she is leader. Inside, they boil and seethe...unless you are somehow helping them achieve their agenda, you are readily a commodity to be used and disposed. Ever notice that certain people seem to do 90% of the work? Get close enough to them to sense their pain? What are they feeding with this tireless wok? Why do they feel "they have to" do it all? Ever notice yourself retracting, constricting, rationalizing doing less, but carrying on the charade? All of the machinations we employ to avoid conflict and gain our agenda will wound your heart, over and over, and the pain will spill all over those close enough to feel it.

Yes, we can clearly see others do this to us, 6 ways to Sunday; can you entertain that you likely do exactly the same thing? I know I am guilty; i'm ready to pimp you out if it benefits me, and i'm ready to accept lucre for gain towards what i really seek in my heart.
Again "ALL HAVE GONE whoring...taken strange gods and illicit lovers and...well there's as many these as there are people.

Friends, there is freedom from this circle of repetitious pain we call life, where we run the treadmill but get nowhere. We arrive nowhere breathless, we invariably get there burned out, bitter, angry, and exhausted. What happened? Where is the fairy tale?
Prince charming and the happy ending? I venture we lose it because we lose our dreams, we dare not extend, we fear to be so open, we distrust God and Love and ourselves and each other. We have gone astray...each one of us.

Guard your hearts...for from it spring ALL THE ISSUES OF LIFE. ©timo antero onjukka 2011
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